nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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