You can't motorboat a personality
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
