i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
