problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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