So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The best revenge is premature balding
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How does one acquire holy water?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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