just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He has the fingertips of a God
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