i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
