Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
