I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
from now on my penis is your penis
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
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