How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
