At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
