i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Don't make out with my wife yet
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
