Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
