Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
