Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
