I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
