I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
