Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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