Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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