so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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