Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
