Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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