i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
