The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
