This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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