you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I need water and some morals
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
