so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
