Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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