I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
