just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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