YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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