He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
