I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
