It's like God shit irony all over that family
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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