She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
