We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
