And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
