He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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