I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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