I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
