Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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