Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it's like iHOP with fire
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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