Someone shit on the floor
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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