Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
