I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
