That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
