hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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