It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
