I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
