Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
