dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
